A Spider Lives in My Car

I Have a Car-Guest

Mr. Daring-Jumping-Spider is living in my car. We are not friends.

There’s a spider living in my car.  Which wouldn’t really be a problem if I wasn’t in my car so much.  But I am.  I drive a lot… a lot!

And it wouldn’t really be a problem if he would stay on his own side… the O-U-T-side!

He totally FREAKED me out yesterday when he crawled down my sun visor.  I was driving at the moment… so it was a fairly dangerous situation.  I pulled into a parking lot and tried to smoosh him while he was also freaking out running all over the dashboard.

I missed… and he scurried behind the speedometer.

So we had a chat.

I drove to my office and said aloud before exiting the car… “Okay buddy!”  {I really wasn’t that polite.}  ”One of us has to go.  Be gone when I get back!”

A few hours later, I am off to pick up pizza for my evening meeting.  There he is!  On the other side of the car!

No… not the O-U-T-side where he’s supposed to be.  Across the dash by the other sun visor!

I am driving again when I spot him… freaking out again!… because this is a big furry spider!  The smooshing-napkin is still nearby and even though I am tooling down the street, I lean across the front seat to smack him.  I can’t reach him.

I park on the curb by the pizza place / unbuckle my seat belt / take aim to smoosh… He JUMPS! down to the floor mat.  This is one tricky spider.

Everyone’s freaked now.

I freak out… Mr. Spider freaks out… we’re all freaking out in front of JJ’s Pies.  [What must the people on the street have been thinking?]

I try to smoosh him on the floor mat but he jumps again and disappears under the passenger seat.  Ugh!

I grab the pizza / drive across town to my meeting / return to my car / begin the drive home / all the while expecting Mr. Spider will show up a third time.  {All things happen in 3′s right… according to CS Lewis… which actually has been my experience.}

Mr. Spider Plots My Demise

All the way home, I am certain that Mr. Spider is very angry with me and is looking for just the right traffic pattern so that he can catch me off-guard / crawl up my pant leg / and bite me on the calf which will result in my instant death  …  either from the spider venom  …  or the ensuing crash that will come from our freaked-out-ness.

I am happy to report that this blog post is proof that neither of those scenarios occurred.

But I think Mr. Spider is still living in my car.

And in a little bit… I have to drive to work.

Pray for me!